Long Overdue Blog Post

Hey guys, a lot has happened over the last couple of days since TTC telling us that they wanted to withdraw us from our placement here in Xining. My last post was on Tuesday, it is now Friday and I feel like I have aged significantly. Seriously the last few days have been the hardest days of my life.

Wednesday- Well the day went as normally as it could, we taught as normal. I was sure that I was staying, however this confidence was short lived. The lesson went well, we did an assessment and I gave the kids some English sweets which they loved.

Oh and Will broke his arm playing volleyball so he is in hospital...

In the evening we were meeting Solaro and Rice from TTC, they were coming to talk to us about what had happened and what they were going to do. Their side of the story was the the Xining Board of Education did not want to pay us and had not budgeted to pay us because they thought TTC were giving us money. They warned us of the risks that were associated with leaving TTC: we would have to get a new visa, we would not have any help from them and there was a danger of us being black listed if we don't sort out our visa in time. It gave us a lot to think about and none of us were as sure as we were originally.

After the meeting we talked to each other and came up with some questions; most of them centred around the visa. We asked Matthew for a meeting early the next morning and asked him to prepare answers for our questions. Matthew suggested we have the meeting in the hospital so Will can take part. Before heading to bed I got a call off Will who had said Matthew was willing to pay TTC the money to make all this go away. This back tracking was worrying, maybe Matthew can't get us visas?

Thursday: The morning came along and we headed to the hospital, I asked Solaro whether TTC would except Matthew's money, he replied that they wouldn't as they are refusing to work with the school anymore. Alex had decided that she was going to go with TTC, the doubt over visas was enough to force her hand. She wants to travel for the foreseeable future so even the slight possibility of being black listed scared her, plus she wanted a new adventure. To say I was upset was an understatement; she made my time here in Xining, I don't know how I am going to cope without her. I hate EVERYONE who put us in this situation, be them TTC or Matthew. I didn't know what I was going to do, I was scared.

Our options seemed to be either go with TTC and leave TTC, we were guaranteed a placement elsewhere in China, their support and 2000 RMB a month, however the new placement could be worse than where we are now. If we stay in Xining we had to get a new visa but could earn up to 10,000 RMB a month AND we would get to stay with our friends and I would not have to leave the kids I teach.

We got to the hospital and talked to Matthew about visas, it seems that the longer we spent talking to Matthew the less confident we were in him. We had until 5pm to make a decision. Matthew said he will guarantee us a visa and will begin the process that day, however we weren't sure if we could trust him. Solaro seemed to think that Matthew couldn't get us a visa. Fish and Kelly cried when they found out that Alex was leaving, they really do care about us.

We went to Matthew's office and our faith in him decreased yet again. He didn't seem to know what was going on despite us telling him! People were really worried and even the promise of 10,000 RMB a month did little to persuade people. It's all about the visa. We were trying to make it clear to him that without the visa we have to leave the country. We then had to teach with all this on our mind, we tried to negotiate but Matthew did not want any of the schools to know what is going on, we tried to tell him that they had a right to know but we were shot down. He said we could finish our lessons an hour early though.

We made our way to school, all of us deep in thought. I called Mum and talked through everything with her. The whole situation was utter shit (excuse my French). All I want to do is stay with the kids!

My lesson went ok but I couldn't focus. We met at the hospital to make a decision at 430pm, however I managed to cut my leg open so I had to have it dressed... It's not too bad but it was quite deep.

I had made my decision, I was going to stay. It was a massive risk (and felt like more of a risk every passing second) but I did not want to leave. I did not want to start all over again. I did not want to risk all the good things I have here. The idea of splitting off from TTC and getting a new visa terrified me but the worse case scenario is that I come back to the UK.

Will and Deena have asked for more time to make a decision, Siz and Alex were going to go and Mike, Cecilia and I were staying. At least it is not just me, I get on really well with Mike and Cecilia too. I am going to miss Alex though... Next was to meet up with Solaro and Rice and sign our departure letters. We received our money for the work we've done so far (2,300 RMB) and signed that we were leaving TTC. I then went and helped Alex pack, well by helped I mean played sad music such as 'Stay with me', 'goodbye my lover', 'show me the meaning of being lonely' and 'stay another day'. I really did not want her to go but I understand.

The time came for Siz and Alex to leave. I cannot believe they were going, only a couple of days ago everything was fine! I guess they wanted a new adventure! I wish them both the best of luck, it is not going to be the same without them here. There were a few tears, I managed to hold myself together, namely because I cried off and on throughout the whole day so I had no tears left to shed.

Now we have the visa to sort out, to say I am afraid would be an understatement. TTC told Alex and Siz that to get a work visa we need to be 2 years out of university however we have researched this and talked to visa agencies and they've not heard about this rule so we think TTC were just scaremongering. They also said that Matthew had been trying to off load us for ages however if that is the case why has he been doing everything in his power to make us stay? Not too sure what is going on but I have made my decision, there is no point doubting, we just need to focus on getting the visa sorted. We get a trip to Hong Kong though!

To say I was happy would be an exaggeration, however I feel like I have made the right decision. I just hope things work out for us. Thank you all of those who have offered me support and help and special thanks to Mum who woke up at 2am to talk to me.